Attention Distraction For F***s Sake!

My ADHD minions are having a party and will not go to bed!

Hello!

In my last piece I talked about how distractions have ramped up lately, well let me tell you, that was just the beginning.

I don’t know if it’s this time of year with more solar powered energy, hormones going haywire, or the extra ‘life’ chaos thrown at me over the last two weeks, but wow my only respite at the moment is when I finally get myself to bed and sleep.

I know that quite often this is a phase of hyper-brain mode, and it will calm down again soon (praying that it does!), but it’s getting really frustrating now, hence why I’m writing about it here to offload, and weirdly make myself more aware of how I am NOT helping myself right now – always a fan of accountability as you know!

I think the worst thing is when you are a Coach and helper of others, you expect to have the tools in the bag to be able to help yourself. Deep down you KNOW what will help you realign, you KNOW what works for you, but when the ADHD symptoms are in full swing and chaotic, the avoidance loop is too, and it’s a tough thing to master.

That’s what it feels like with ADHD, like you are looking down on yourself from above and trying to manage this unruly toddler who is running around all over the place, either physically or in your head, whilst also trying to do the following:

> Figure out what I have got on that day, in which order

> Do said things in the actual times planned, without going off track

> Walk dog at a reasonable time and listen to a motivational podcast

> Wear something that makes me feel and look good (especially if going to a meeting)

> Leave on time for meetings

> Arrive on time for meetings

> Not overthink every conversation / text / email / WhatsApp message or lack of communication like a badass

> Eat good food, at lunch time, not 3pm

> Not crash after said late lunch and power through

> Stop working at 5pm

> Cook an edible dinner, without getting distracted on cooking timings whilst scrolling Instagram / watching something

> Taxi drive child to somewhere

> Sometimes continue to work

> Spend time with husband

> Clear up kitchen

> Put dog to bed

> Go to bed by 10.30pm

> Read a little

> Sleep

So that’s a rough example of a daily plan, it does change as my work is varied, but you get the idea. When I think about what ACTUALLY happens, I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry, because it is so incongruous with what I WANT to do, and yet I genuinely, most of the time feel powerless to stop it. Which only adds to the self-annoyance, anger, and frustration.

How can I not have the power to control how my days play out, or at least the things I CAN control?

My day played out quite differently on Monday, and especially by the end of it. I won’t bore you with all of it, but I’ll give you a few key examples:

1) The morning started off not too bad, apart from waking at new regular time of 5.50am (due to us awaiting blinds in the bedroom as we’ve just decorated, and I’ve lost my eye mask, of course, that was working) changing tops 3 times, jackets and shoes twice, for a meeting with some new people, I wanted to make a good impression. Actually got to the meeting on time – hurrah!

2) Procrastinated going home and starting more work, by inviting Clair, who’d come with me to the meeting, for a coffee. Put the world to rights, called for a friend’s birthday present on the way home, got in, hung washing out, and was then meant to start work, but instead laid on the grass with the pets for half an hour in the sunshine - Got mad at myself and headed inside trying not to make a drink on the way and waste more time.

3) It’s now 3pm, I get my writing task done for that evening’s online club, sort out an invoice, send a follow up email to the people we had the meeting with – questioning the tone of it all the way – good? Too friendly? Too direct? Blah blah blah.

At 5pm I ‘should be thinking about dinner’, but no!

In my wisdom I decide to start my passport renewal I’d been putting off. Screen shot the slides to make sure I know what I’m doing with the photo. Get son to take photo, HATE them all – why do they not allow you to smile? Ridiculous. I look awful. Son losing patience after 5 attempts. Take the least offensive one and upload and it gets a green tick, phew.

Faff about a bit more until 6.30pm. Now the pressure is on enough to make dinner because my writing class starts at 7.45pm.

4) Writing class goes well. Head out of office into lounge to chill at 9.30pm. Watch Clarkson’s farm which we love. Husband dropping off asleep but puts ‘Boston shootings doc’ on for a bit before he leaves me, and I am now GRIPPED to the programme, because my stupid brain thrives on this kind of ‘emergency’ drama.

I tell myself just one episode, an hour later I’m heading into episode 3, whilst also scrolling Insta to just exhaust myself more to be able to sleep. ‘No Juliet!’ I actually say this loudly to myself and to the dog who jumps! – ‘Time for bed,’ it’s 11.50pm.

Remember I was meant to put the car on charge. Curse myself, head outside to do that in the rain and wind.

Finally after reading a few pages, I crash into sleep.

And wake bang on 5.50am again, not enough sleep, berate myself, consider LIVEN app, too expensive. Know this has GOT to stop, I need to get myself back on an even keel, consider Access to Work, maybe an ADHD coach can help me – I’ve thought this for a while, and then of course have put it off. But that morning I began the application, that’s how annoyed I’m getting with myself.

And here’s the rub, to the outside world I probably look like I AM achieving, and I DO get some things done, especially with the pressure of a deadline, but in my head, I think if I could just get all my ducks / minions (as I’ve mentioned before), in a row, all would be better in the World and I would feel like I am a proper, achieving, adult.

But what everybody doesn’t see, is this mental constant monologue trying so hard to direct my thoughts, emotions, and actions to get through the day somewhat successfully and as I had planned.

It’s not until I write about it like this and actually really analyse how I feel, subconsciously more than I realise, how full on and exhausting it is, and the effect it is probably having internally that I’m not even conscious of.

Which then scares me. What impact is this battle and low-level / high-level stress having on me on a daily basis? It doesn’t always feel like stress as such, but it is a constant feeling of ‘on the go,’ adrenaline fuelled activity / thoughts that sometimes makes my heart race, and not always in a good way.

What impact does that have on my overall health?

And so I then start to look at my life and ask:

What could be triggering this escalation of my symptoms right now?

How can I take more responsibility to help myself?

What strategies do I know work for me and most importantly…

How can I prioritise them to try and stop this current spiral and feel better?

And yes, there is another element of self-acceptance and forgiveness probably required here, but I’ll just be brutally honest, I’m just not good at that and it just doesn’t help me.

I am ambitious, I want to achieve and do well in life, it’s at the core of my being, and I take responsibility for how I live my life – It’s no-one else’s job but my own.

So I need to find strategies to support these values and this inner drive, that also include opportunities for rest, creativity, exercise, and wellness activities to balance it all out.

I don’t need to look far in my analysis; I know the key things that have tipped the balance: it’s a list of distractions and disruptions that have flown in over the last few months.

I spoke about this in my last Substack here, and since then add in decorators taking over spaces, our anniversary, my sister and mum’s BIG birthday, my daughter being back from Uni for a month at Easter, and then just as things were getting a little more settled….

The dog went and cut herself really badly on our walk in the woods, no idea how, but literally her whole back leg covered in blood and dripping. Cue emergency trip to the vets and a general anaesthetic to stitch her back up!

Which has then thrown my whole routine and moved into:

> Keeping a constant eye one her, especially as by day 3 she’d nibbled out some of her stiches despite being a cone-head!

> Making sure she takes her painkillers and antibiotics

> Dealing with the miserable face and neediness (poor thing)

> Her taking over the bed to get comfy sleeping in her cone! She normally is in her own bed, which then effected my sleep.

> And most importantly, no walks under the trees…

So put simply;

Poor sleep, constant disruption, and no daily walks = recipe for disaster.

I’ve come to realise I needed those walks almost more than she did.

It takes someone on average 23 minutes to get back on task if they are disrupted, but for ADHDers that’s usually way longer.

You can imagine how these 3 things have created the perfect storm for me, so how do I get back on track?

Well thankfully, the dog got signed off from the vets this week and is fully fixed! She’s back in her bed and our new blackout blinds have arrived, so hopefully that is 2 of the 3 things resolved.

But my biggest problem at the moment is actually getting myself to bed at a decent hour and not falling into the trap of getting too comfy on the sofa watching something, scrolling, and procrastinating about going to bed, because I’m warm, comfy, and finally enjoying a calmer brain.

The effort it takes to get to bed is completely ridiculous, but also incredibly common with ADHDers, by night time I’m exhausted and depleted. The only things that get me finally up to bed is that I’m getting cold, my phone’s run out of battery or I desperately need a wee (another crazily common experience of ADHDers, we leave it to the last minute!).

So I do need some new ideas around this, and the stupid thing is, I LOVE my bed, in our newly decorated bedroom too.

And so I researched why do we have this issue in the first place? And this was the answer

Sleep procrastination—especially revenge bedtime procrastination—is common among people with ADHD. It happens when someone deliberately delays sleep to reclaim personal time lost during the day. ADHDers often struggle with self-regulation, making it harder to transition from stimulating activities to rest. ADHD brains crave novelty and excitement, so shutting down for sleep can feel frustrating or even impossible.

Why It Happens:

• Cognitive Overdrive: ADHD brains work hard all-day filtering distractions and managing focus. By bedtime, they need time to mentally reset before sleeping.

• Need for Pleasure: After a long day of effort and demands, the brain craves enjoyable activities—watching TV, scrolling social media, or gaming—to decompress.

• Self-Sustaining Loop: Sleep deprivation worsens ADHD symptoms, making it harder to focus and regulate emotions the next day. This leads to even more bedtime procrastination.

Well understanding all this certainly makes me feel better, that I’m not going mad, and I hope you feel better too if you struggle with this.

But what can we do about it? It seems there are no miracle solutions, it’s about putting in the work to change bad habits, which is going to take some willpower! Again I researched:

Strategies to Break the Cycle:

1. Create a Consistent Bedtime Routine – Predictability helps ADHD brains transition to sleep.

2. Improve Sleep Hygiene – Dim lights, avoid caffeine, and keep your bedroom cool.

3. Minimize Screen Time – Blue light disrupts melatonin production, making it harder to fall asleep.

4. Plan Satisfying Activities During the Day – Ensuring enjoyable moments earlier can reduce the need for late-night "me time".

5. Get Daily Exercise – Physical activity helps regulate energy levels and improve sleep quality.

6. Manage Anxiety – Stress and racing thoughts can fuel bedtime procrastination. Relaxation techniques like meditation or journaling can help.

7. Create an Enjoyable Morning Plan – Having something to look forward to in the morning can make sleep feel more rewarding.

So I will be giving these ago, and hopefully returning to more daily exercise will help too, I’ll let you know how it goes.

But I have also decided to bite the bullet and try and get an ADHD coach through Access to Work. I know it will take ages to be processed, just like my diagnosis did, so I need to get on with it. Plus there’s other help I could do with to be more effective and productive – anything technological / systems based is like my kryptonite, but I know there will be far better ways of doing things than I’m currently doing.

Some say why don’t you just take ADHD meds?, but when I’ve had chemo drugs, radio, and a load of scans and X-rays thrown at me, I just don’t want to add any more chemical concoctions to my body, I do wonder what that potential peace in my head could be like for just one day though!

So if you have gotten this far, then thank you for reading my ramblings and experience of my every-day ADHDer life and I hope that in sharing, I will help others to feel less alone on these topics and also understand that whilst people may look like they’ve got it all together on the outside, there are often intense battles going on inside.

At the start of the year you’ll know I try to be organised and set good intentions, through creating my 25 for 25 list and Vision Board.

This piece very much relates to that, my word of the year is Expression, and I vowed to be more honest and open writing about the topic of ADHD, both all the amazing elements, and the tricky ones too – life is always light and shade, right?

Do let me know if this resonates and if you have any tips for me!

Now guess what, it’s 6.22pm, I got stuck back into writing this after some other work tasks and I’ve enjoyed is so much I’m still here, writing is always the balm I need.

But the boys will be hungry, as am I when I think about it, so off I go to make dinner.

And have an early night?!

We’ll see…

With love & light, Juliet x

P.S I wanted to mention Chris Packham’s current documentaries on BBC iPlayer on ADHD and Dyslexia, which are incredible. Thank you to Chris and the team for giving it the attention and care it deserves in your programme, and I hope it fosters more understanding all round. Well worth a watch.